Believe it or not, turkeys are dangerous. So dangerous, in fact, that Kittery police can’t seem to get them under control. For the past few month, residents of a neighborhood in Kittery, ME have complained about an aggressive tom turkey that has been harassing the area. For those of you who aren’t up on your turkey talk, a tom turkey is a male turkey.

This tom—let’s call him Tom—is making it impossible for people to get out of their cars or leave their homes.

Police in the Kittery area have been called to the scene, and have tried repeatedly to get this out-of-control turkey, well… under control. They’ve even shot at it, but to no avail.

Tom just runs right at them, unafraid of police or their cars. Sounds kind of like “Honeybadger…”

                                        I'm sure he's thinking, “Fuck tha police.”

Apparently this is the time of year that turkeys get their baby-making on, which can cause tom turkeys to become aggressive. If I were Tom, and ready to score, I would be a little pissed off if all I could find were a bunch of human folks running around. I’d be wanting some turkey tail.

Kittery isn’t that far from UNH campus, and I’m sure there are horny turkeys roaming around nearby. Keep your eyes open for them. They could be coming to a neighborhood near you.