It turns out that fire in Cance hall last week was the result of an "unattended candle." Housing and Residence Life sent out a really helpful email concerning the handling of the situation and what caused it.
- Welcome to my dorm.

"Dear Students, I am writing to inform the you of a fire that occurred in a student room in Cance House last Monday - January 17. All students in the building responded appropriately to the fire alarm and we are all very thankful that no one was hurt. The cause of this fire was an unattended lit candle in a student room that ignited a window covering that in turn ignited bedding and other items in this room. The Amherst Fire Department, University Police, and Housing and Residence Life staff managed the situation professionally and expediently. Although we are lucky that this incident resulted in no injuries, it was deeply concerning that an inspection of Cance revealed a number of rooms in which the room smoke detector was covered as well as another room an unattended burning candle."

I'm sure the lack of grammar skills or coherent sentences was just an attempt to talk to us "on our level."

My first issue, is how the hell did these freshman idiots manage to set curtains aflame with a candle? Candles have edges that protect the flame from being set loose. Furthermore, dorm rooms provide an abundance of flat surfaces free of upholstery to ensure safe candle use. Is it really that hard to place your Spicy Cinnamon candle on your desk away from paper and bedding.

As for the room inspections, well let's be serious is it that hard to cover your tracks? It's not a secret, even to Res Life, that half the student body is smoking "decriminalized" plants in their rooms. Obviously all these people cover the smoke detectors while they're doing this. Did they not think to take the covers off after? I remember my RA telling me over and over that it was VERY bad for you to get CAUGHT with it covered. In case you can't read between the lines, she meant go ahead and cover it when you smoke but take it off after so I never see it!

Here are my tips for successfully using candles and having fun on 4/20.

1. When using a candle, cover the smoke detector with a hat then take it off when you're done.


2. Don't blow out the candle and send a volcanic eruption of smoke around your room. Just put the cap on, the lack of oxygen will extinguish the flame.


3. Put towels at the door and open the windows when you smoke. It is highly unlikely you'll set off the smoke alarm, but if the RA smells it they have to call 911. No bullshit.


4. Keep open flames away from flammable items. I know it's confusing, but your sheets will catch fire.


5. If you are unable to use fire appropriately, just don't.