Intermingling and intertwining film genres seems to be the thing to do nowadays, at least ever since Quentin Tarantino perfected the art with “Death Proof” and “Kill Bill” – but nobody besides him seems to be really good at it. The list of copycats now especially includes Dax Shepard, who’s failed miserably with his newest gangster-car chase-romantic comedy (did I forget any?) “Hit And Run.” 

Dax considers himself to be a comedian, but his one-liners just can’t last for a whole feature film. In fact, his material is redundant unless Bradley Cooper is conversing about his homosexual experiences in jail while sporting perhaps the fakest looking dreadlocks a camera has ever seen. 

Charles Bronson (Shepard) is in the witness protection program, living in the middle of nowhere with his girlfriend Annie (Kristen Bell), hiding from the gangsters he once robbed banks with (including Cooper’s character), being protected by an incompetent clown of a U.S. Marshall (Tom Arnold) and being watched by Annie’s ex-boyfriend Gil (Michael Rosenbaum). Annie gets a job in Los Angeles, and the two begin a race to the finish while being chased by all the aforementioned buffoons. 

Where “Hit And Run” goes from there isn’t really debatable; it goes nowhere. There’s no way Annie can leave Charles; there’s no way the Marshall can protect him efficiently; and since Charles used to be the driver when him and his old boys used to rob banks, there’s no way those gangsters can catch him in a car. You already know how it’s going to end when it starts.

“Hit And Run” is just not funny even though the way in which it views murderous people is almost as light as the Coens’ “Burn After Reading,” but it delivers nowhere near as well as that comedy does – the two shouldn’t even be compared. It is your typical cat and mouse plot with a couple more cats added to dramatize the car chase scenes, which really don’t show you anything but a bunch of fancy cars doing donuts.

Any film that culminates on a discussion of what it’s like to be anally raped in jail is just plain old stupid, even if watching Bradley Cooper explain his harrowing experiences brings a sudden joy to you because of your hatred for him – which is definitely how I felt. But in the end, incessant gay jokes just don’t make me laugh; they may work for a ten year-old with an IQ under 75, but they probably won’t for many others. 

Grade: D