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Obtainability is for amateurs. Whether it is the quiet yet tenacious guy from your chem lab who wants to take you out for a drink/get his hands on your lady lumps, or the overeager girl down the hall who is determined to be your BFF, don't let anyone win you over too easily. If you want to appear like the hottest commodity on campus, rather than an embarrassingly attainable entity, follow these steps to have them all knocking down your dorm-room door:
Delay your reactions
Never give an immediate response to anything your suitor puts forth. Don’t just wait ten minutes to response to a text message; hell, make that sucker wait a week! When you finally do respond, do so with complete nonchalance, as though you have been so caught up in your fabulous jet-setting life that you didn’t even note the passage of time. Same goes for phone calls and Facebook posts. Even leave your suitor hanging for a moment when he or she greets you in person, as though his or her presence just isn’t rousing enough to get those neurons firing right away.
Never provide your admirer with a clear answer for anything. Do you have plans this weekend? You’re not sure yet. Are you talking to anyone right now? Eh, not really. What’s your favorite color? You don’t really have one. Nothing is more alluring/ridiculously perplexing than shrouding oneself in complete ambiguity.
Keep your options open
Never wear anything but green to a stoplight party. Give the impression that other suitors are blowing up your phone at all hours, even if the only person that has called you in the last twenty-four hours is your mother. Mupload a picture of you with your arm slung around a different guy or girl every night and surround yourself with perhaps-platonic friends. Even if the thought of engaging in sexual acts with any of these platonic acquaintances makes you vomit in your mouth a little bit, all these quasi-suitors will leave everyone else wondering.
Appear consistently engaged
Never let your schedule appear too open. Your answer to, “What are you up to tonight?” should certainly not be, “Nothing.” Though you may no greater plans than finally washing your sheets this weekend, make it seem as though you have a plethora of pregames and parties on your Facebook event sidebar. If your admirer attempts to make plans with you, always nix the first few dates he or she provides, as your social calendar is simply chock-full of other more exciting engagements.
The key to playing hard to get: give them a little, and they’ll be left wanting more. Leave all those suitors with blue balls and unreturned come-ons because, if you feign celebutante status, you can achieve it.
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