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It happens sometimes in the shower. It happens sometimes in the car. But when it does happen, when you’re gripping the wheel or a bar of soap and belting out Adele’s “Someone Like You” with the fervor of a scorned tween lover/reality television singing show contestant, you can almost swear the soul of the celebrated British songbird is pouring out of you. Alas, in these settings there is often no one present to applaud your euphonious ballad. And so karaoke was born.
America doesn’t have nearly enough outlets for the unexceptional and the talentless among us to be heard. So what if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket? You have a song in your heart and a Long Island Iced Tea in your hand and you deserve to be hearkened, dammit! So stumble onto that makeshift wooden stage, grip that sticky microphone, and slur your way through “Like a Virgin,” paying no heed to the heckles of the haters. They simply don’t have the confidence/blood alcohol content that you have, my friend, so let ‘em hate on.
Karaoke can transform a night at the bar into a night you’ll never forget—especially once all your friends capture and upload your inebriated butchering of “Eye of the Tiger” on all forms of social media, where it will remain until the end of time. Karaoke can allow an amateur dreamer who believes he or she possesses a fragment of talent a second in the limelight, and even though he or she will be subsequently derided and assured he or she has no talent following the humiliating performance, for that magical moment, anything seems possible.
So grab your friends and head to your local karaoke bar. Mock the talentless, laugh at the uninhibited fantasists who have drunkenly decided to put their pride on the line and, if you get enough silly juice flowing through your blood, who knows? Maybe you’ll even hop up there yourself. Whether your performance is met with cheers or jeers, nothing quite compares to the thrill of singing an unremarkable rendition of an overplayed pop song for a crowd of apathetic listeners.
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