Does the idea of your two friends going out to lunch together without you get your panties into a twist? Do you pour over your Facebook newsfeed at night, crying softly in the dark, as you look at pictures of all the events and get-togethers you didn’t attend? Then you, my fretful friend, may be suffering from FOMO, or “fear of missing out.” Here’s a quick quiz to determine if this diagnosis is appropriate for you. 

Situation: You’re in your room studying for your midterm. Down the hall you can hear the raucous laughter of your roommates, who are hanging out in the common room.  In response, you

A – put on your headphones and turn up your music. How dare they carouse and make merry while you are doing your schoolwork?  

B – smile and continue your work. The sound of your chums’ joviality just warms your heart! 

C – drop your pencil and dash down the hall, peeking creepily around the corner. You then demand to know what was the cause of their chortling so that you may join in on the mirth as well.

Situation: It’s a Friday night and you’re sick with pneumonia. Your roommates are all getting ready to go to a party. As they leave, you 

A – heave a sigh of relief that they have finally left you in peace and retrieve your laptop to commence your own personal “Dance Moms” marathon.

B – tell them that they all look exquisite and wish them the most glorious of nights, being sure to take a few group photos of them before they leave. 

C – insist that you’re not that sick and hastily throw on an outfit, tossing back shots with them between hacking fits. 

Situation: Two of your roommates attend a birthday party for a mutual friend of theirs that you have never met. The next morning they are still recounting all the foolish antics that occurred at said party. You 

A – roll your eyes and wonder how long they’re going to talk about the star of the school musical doing an impromptu burlesque show in the kitchen. 

B – listen eagerly to their tales and tell them how pleased you are that they had such an enjoyable evening.  

C – go quietly to your room, shut the door, and go through each of their Facebook albums from the party a dozen times until you almost feel like you were at the party yourself, all the while blasting your Missy Higgins album to mask the sound of your unconstrained sobs. 

If you answered C for any of these questions, then you may be tormented by an everlasting, irrational fear of missing out on a good time. Until you become a bit more secure in your own person, or your social life starts to suck a little less, then I suppose you’ll just be perpetually tormented by all the inside jokes you’re not a part of.