For those who are closing books and popping bottles on campus grounds for the last time, listen up. At some point in the next few weeks you will find yourself sitting amidst your gown-clad peers listening to a highly-revered, Ph.D.-holding Associate Vice President So-and-So type figure talk about the bright and noble path lying before you. While the words Dr. Successful Career Person speaks will in fact be uttered with the best intentions and will without a doubt inspire a few tears here and there, they aren’t the real advice you need.

Take it from this girl, here’s what you actually need to know about entering into the real world.

 Expand your beverage horizons

The time will come when you’re out with a co-worker, boss, or potential employer and you’ll need to order a casual drink. Much to your chagrin, you’ll find there is no drink menu in sight and your cultured comrade effortlessly requests a whisky something-or-other that sounds nothing like the muddle of Bud Light and Burnetts you’ve spent the past four years consuming. At this point you’ll need to quickly come up with a  classy beverage that both asserts your position as a credible member of the professional adult world while still ringing in at a price your underdeveloped bank account can afford. To avoid a mess of awkwardness and shame, have a list of go-to drinks at the tip of your tongue. I suggest reading the following...

2.      Make nice with Sundays

      Fridays are for trying to drink like you’re still in college. Saturdays are for painfully remembering why you can no longer drink like you’re in college. And Sundays, dear sweet Sundays, are for realizing that there are in fact perks to not drinking like you’re in college. Aka. 24 hangover-and-homework-free hours to do absolutely anything you’d like.

3.     Evolve your procrastination techniques

      Yes, that’s right friends. Procrastination rears its ugly head at any and every stage in life. Might as well make the most of it. Throw a few solid news sources and perhaps an industry-related blog or two into the usual Tumblr, Buzzfeed, Facebook lineup.

4.     Memorize every half-priced burger night within 20 square miles

      …or fifty cent wing night or $5 margarita night…getting the picture? When you’re BFFs aren’t ten feet down the hall it’s vital to actively make steps to sustain a social life.

5.     Repeat the phrase “I am only 22"

      (or whatever age you’ve wrapped up your undergrad degree at) If it’s six months out and you haven’t saved the world, discovered your calling in life, or landed the perfect job for which you feel an undeniable amount of passion and purpose….relax, take a breather, and repeat the above phrase.

Oh and don’t forget, the first part of “young professional” is “young”. So make moves, press start on your career, show a little ambition…but don’t forget to raise a glass, toast to your forthcoming twenty-somethings, and keep the good times going. Cheers class of 2012!