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Guys, it's Saturday; but it's not only Saturday, it's mofukkin Cinco De Mayo. I know some of you have finals and are studying this week and whatever but forget that shit, Cinco De Mayo doesn't fall on a Saturday every day so STFU, you've got drinking to do. Here's the plan:
Start drinking. Like right now. Whatever alcohol is closest to you, grab it and go.
Tuck in your shirt. Straight into your jeans. And so help you god you better already be wearing some Red, Green, and have a white undershirt on. Either that or throw on a button up but only button the top button.
Draw a moustache on your face. Yup. On your face. None of that lame finger moustache over the upper lip bullshit. That's 1/2 assed and when Cinco De Mayo falls on a Saturday you don't 1/2 ass it, so unless you already have a moustache (which you should have put mad wax in by now) grab a sharpie and get it done.
Get a lime. Maybe you have one in your house, maybe you have to go to the store, whatever you have to do to get one, just get one. Cut it up, either put one in your beer (if you're into that kind of thing) or use it to chase your...
Tequila shots. Right now.
Back to the Cerveca. Hopefully you're drinking Tecate.
Now just kick it for a few hours, get good and hammered and take a siesta. Then wake up and repeat.
Happy Cinco De Mayo kids, go get 'em.
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