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What were you doing last night at 1am? You were probably asleep ...or cracked out in the library hating your life (cuz it's the end of the semester and we all know that song and dance). What was this chick doing last night at 1am? She was getting lit up like the Radio City Christmas Spectacular and crashing her car into the local Steak 'n Shake.
Yup, that is it; that's my alma mater. Right there on the back window sticker; whaddup Rollins College. You know I've missed ya since the day I left. Glad to see shit's still poppin' off on these levels.
According to reports, Brittany Christian drove through the drive through at around 1am this morning. After getting her food, she then drove her SUV into the front door, (which I don't even know how you managed to do unless that's what you were trying to do all along but whatever). Luckily no one was inside the Steak 'n Shake because only the drive through was open at the time. And don't worry, they continued to stay open for the rest of the night because Steak 'n Shake employees don't play that shit.
Anyway, back to this booze bag; girlfriend, how the hell did you manage this? You weren't pulling in and missed the drive through, nor were you driving and swerved off the road into the Steak 'n Shake, you were leaving that bitch. You went, got your food, were in the clear, and then just decided to bust it wide open?
I mean look at that car, it's almost perfectly in the front doors. Did they forget to give you your change? Were you trying to go back for some extra ranch? I have so many unanswered questions.
Anyhow, someone from Rollins better call me up and tell me the real story to all this because I know it's flying around campus like strep throat in McKean, so holler at your girl and keep down there you god damn booze hounds.
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