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Sometimes, we all get sick of being the girlfriend everyone likes. Why not mix it up and become "that" girl. You know, the girl who just won't quit being awful. Here's how.
Document everything. Take a picture of the two of you at your favorite restaurant together, at a football game together, at the beach together. Take pictures of you embracing, staring pensively into each other’s eyes, laughing, kissing. Make sure they all appear completely candid. Always use Instagram. Caption everything with: ~s0 y0uNg && iN lUv x0x0~
Write on his Facebook wall. Write on it Often. Make sure the posts are completely unnecessary: “can’t w8 2 c u 2nite” or “thx 4 walking me 2 chem lab 2day ur the best” or “happy 3 week anniversary <3333.” Watch as they clutter everyone’s newsfeed, making all 789 of your friends completely aware that you are in the throes of relationship bliss.
Become a “we.” As in, “We’d love to see the new Jason Segel movie!” and “Oh, no, we can’t, we’re vegan this month.” Bring him along with you to places that only you were invited. Always assume that the invitation has been extended.
Show affection in public. Hold hands. Sit on the same side on the table at restaurants, even when it’s just the two of you. Kiss whenever you greet each other, whenever you two part, even when you two are waiting in line for something. Make everyone around you feel uncomfortable.
When he eventually breaks up with you, handle it as gracelessly as possible.
-Post sad, ambiguous tweets: “What did I ever do wrong? #brokenhearted.”
-Aggressively stalk his Facebook page. Continue to post things on his wall so that everyone can see that you’re totally fine just being friends and the two are a-okay.
-See a picture of him with a girl you don’t recognize and “like” it. Add a comment about how you bought him the shirt he’s wearing in the picture.
Get back together a week later. Act like you never broke up. Go out to dinner together at your favorite restaurant, where the two of you sit on the same side of the table. Tell the waiter, “We’ll have soy-free veggie burgers.” Be sure to take a picture using Instagram. Add a caption: ~tRu3 lUv iS 4eV3r~
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