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So, Kids Are Shoving Vodka Soaked Tampons Up Their Butts Now

Via KTNV news

Ok first of all it's called boofing (no, relax, I haven't tried it, I'm just familiar with what it is...which is putting drugs/booze up your butt).

Second of all, back in my day there were no tampons involved, just funnels.

Third of all, whoever decided this should be called 'Butt-Chugging' is stupid, seeing as there's no chugging involved in either form, but whatever.  It was probably some adult on the channel whatever news team who isn't hip to anything besides bronzer, grilled salmon, and talking in a cheesy voice.

Anyway so back to the kids sticking vodka tampons up their asses thing; what the hell guys?

Which one of you genius's took boofing so seriously you developed an extended release option?  Like, are you fucking serious?  Call me old fashioned, but if shoving a tampon up your ass in any capacity is considered anything other than corny as hell then I'm officially throwing in the towel on my youth because THAT is where I draw the line.  

If that's the direction that partying is going, I'd rather be sober.  Honestly.  I don't care how drunk this gets you, there's no way it could get me drunk enough to be cool with the fact that there's a tampon in my ass, not even if it was soaked in ether.

How does that even work?  Do you soak the tampon in vodka, then stick it up your ass?  If so, how does it get up there without an applicator?  Doesn't all the vodka squish back out?

The only way I can imagine this working is by 1/2 injecting a tampon in your butt hole, then soaking the outer half in vodka so it soaks it all up, and then pushing the rest of it in.  Is this correct?

Also, how long do you have to leave it in for?  5 minutes?  An hour?  The whole night?  Are you morons walking around at parties with tampons in your ass?  Do you take it out when you get home?

Alright, I don't even know what else to say about this so take away message here kids: thanks for ruining drinking for me.  I literally hate all of you.


well clearly we should all waddle our way into cleary's, no one would know what was up

Yea, Stacey said she's really pumped to try it out to pregame her birthday this weekend.

you haven't heard of this? i'm chin chillin with a vodka bullet as we speak

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