Normally I'm a big supporter of the absolute nut cases featured on Jersey Shore, but even I was a bit appalled by the goings on of this season's premier episode.
 

First of all, there was no fist pumping. Unacceptable. I get it was the first night and all, but aren't you all supposed to be out fighting grenades and hunting gorillas?

Second, Snooki your hair looked way too normal. I miss your poof, and I'm sure you do too because you're no longer tall enough to go on the rides at the boardwalk.

Third, the Situation kept his shirt on the WHOLE time. Weird. This just doesn't feel like a good situation without orange abdominal muscles flashing every which way. Maybe it's an omen.

And finally, oh yeah that huge screaming match between Sammi and all the other estrogen driven beings in the house. I don't know where these girls are that act like this because I've never seen it! I want to know if this is actually how girl fights go down, all the hair pulling and punches that completely miss the target.

So I pose 2 questions

1. Who would win in a meatball vs. meatball fight (Snooki vs. Deena)?
2. What would be your move of destiny in order to win in a fight against J Woww?