SUMOskinny magazine is the ultimate guide to college life. Part local, part national, and all college.
Times are tough, this is true. Things aren't the way they were back in the early 2000's when young professionals would graduate into a job making 50k+ a year just for having a college degree and a common knowledge of the English language. Now us young professionals are forced to live modestly with our beginners salaries and endless job searches. But not everyone is willing to stand for it.
Meet Jessica Sporty, a 23-year-old girl from NYC, doing it big in some ritzy apartment in some ritzy neighborhood. But poor Jessica found herself in a bind. She was just barely making due with her beginners salary and lavish lifestyle. So what did Jess do? Did she get an extra job to help pay the bills? Did she curb her spending to help cover her bills? No, don't be silly. Jess joined match.com, so that she could get free meals.
Damn Jess, for real girl? I mean, as much as I want to be like, "oh yeah girl, team ladies represent! You play those fellas, making $1 to our 70 cents lookin' boys. You play them up right, eat that dinner girl, yum yum!", I just can't bring myself to do it.
I mean, it's one thing to order Grey Goose in your Cape Codders all night instead of wells if you find yourself out with one of those cheesy Wall Street type jambronies who thinks he has the right to get in your pants because he's wearing a pocket square, but it's quite another to fake genuine interest in someone so that you can get out of buying your own food.
I mean, home girl went as far as to make spread sheets and math formulas about this shit. Like, what the fuck? That's a lot of work. In the time it took you to do all that, you could have gone on sittercity.com, made some outlandish resume about babysitting the Obamas, and found some crazed mommy on the upper east side to pay you upwards of $40 an hour to wipe her kids ass while she gets her Burberry diaper wearing Poodle's fur permed and died pink to look like a fuckin trick pony on acid (rich people are all about that kind of shit). At least then you can say you put in an honest days work.
I mean, take a note from Webbie girl: I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that mean man? I can tell you what it don't mean, and that's having a bunch of dudes buy all your food so you can eat and survive. Maybe this is just me being a defender of the human heart, genuine feelings, good morals, and raw human emotion, but love and connecting with people is one of the last true things we have left in our society. It's kind of messed up for you to publicly shit all over it because you're too lazy to get a job (and yes this DOES go out to Kim Kardashian as well).
So remember people, moral of the story here: Don't be an asshole. Date people for genuine interest, not for food, or booze, or because you just want to have sex with them one time (because you fellas are just as guilty as anyone in this matter.)
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