Black Friday is the one friday each year that I remove myself from BlackOutFriday and participate in the holiday gifted from God to women-kind. For all of you shaking your head- I know that money can't buy happiness, but I'd much rather cry in a Bugatti than a beat up Tonka Truck. 

I understand that men are probably not wired to understand the importance of this day, so here is an ode excusing all missed calls, texts, and e-mails due to extensive shopping.

We are past the time of stopping shopping when you run out of money- (I would like to personally thank American Express).

All you loyal shoppers, you need to be following @blackfriday for exclusive deals and tips.