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National > News
The Best Thing Subway Has Ever Sold
Thanks to a little thing called “the law,” drug dealers are forced to get creative with their slinging services. The most recent/hilarious example of this comes from a south Florida Subway employee who used her job as a sandwich artist as a cover for selling the ganj. Elizabeth Hunt, 47, was...
2
POSTED Jun 07, 2011 IN News
BY Hannah Poster
Killer Cell Phones
Technology will be the death of us, or at least, so says the World Health Organization. They announced a few days ago that they have added the excessive use of cell phones to its list of potential carcinogens. The "potential" part means it may or may not give you brain cancer, their not really sure...
1
POSTED Jun 06, 2011 IN News
BY Kellie Quinn
Palin VS Fey
As already mentioned, Sarah Palin is an idiot. Add Fox News to the list. During a news broadcast yesterday morning, a Fox News anchor discussed various politicians out on campaign trails. When Palin was brought up, a picture of her appeared in the corner. Only catch, it wasn't Palin. It was...
1
POSTED Jun 06, 2011 IN News
BY Hallie Faulkenberry
The Shaqtus Retires
Ladies and gentlemen, the fateful day has come and gone; Shaquille O'Neal has announced he is retiring. The announcement came yesterday from the man himself via Twitter. He kept it short and sweet, posting a video to his fans, letting them be the first to know. You...
2
POSTED Jun 02, 2011 IN News
BY Courtney McCullough
Tornado Hits Massachusetts
By now you are well aware that at least two, possibly three tornados hit western Massachusetts yesterday as part of the worst storm in recent memory. The tornado struck down in Springfield killing at least 4 and injuring dozens. The police and officials are asking...
0
POSTED Jun 02, 2011 IN News
BY Stacey Leasca
Jersey Shore Falling Apart
Gym, Tan, and the Law it seems. While filming the latest season of Jersey Shore in Italy, our favorite oompa loompa got into a car accident. Although the incident is being written off as a fender bender, Snookie was seen wandering around with a neck brace and the individuals in the car she hit were...
0
POSTED Jun 02, 2011 IN News
BY Kellie Quinn
Surgeons Reattach Leg...Backwards
Thirteen year old Dugan Smith had his leg surgically reattached, but the surgeons did it backwards. The most impressive part is that it was intentional, which is a great thing because can you picture that lawsuit? Three years ago Smith discovered he had a large tumor in his leg that needed...
0
POSTED May 21, 2011 IN News
BY Kellie Quinn
Men Are The Cause of (almost) All Womens’ Insanity
In my opinion, guys suck…no offense, dudes. Actually, let me re-phrase that. When it comes to relationships, guys suck. No, I’m not a hardcore Feminist man-hater, I typically get along better with men than women. However, when it comes to men thinking that we are are emotional, unstable and insane...
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POSTED May 20, 2011 IN News
BY Kendra Leavitt
Stupid People Continue to Give Alaska a Bad Name
Congratulations Sarah Palin, you are no longer the dumbest thing to come out of Wasilla, Alaska. * Earlier this week, members of Wasilla’s high school symphony were told they couldn’t perform ‘Bohemian Rhapsody,’ a song that they had been practicing for weeks, at the school’s graduation. The...
0
POSTED May 18, 2011 IN News
BY Hannah Poster
You are Terminated!
It's happened Sumos! Pics of Arnies mistress have finally been released. Her name is Mildred Patricia Baena, 50 and was his housekeeper for 20 years. Arnold said he wanted to fire her after the affair but she threatened to go public with the affair. I think he was just scared people would laugh...
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POSTED May 18, 2011 IN News
BY Spencer Neustadt
